Up until last week, this list would have been topped with Lindsay Lohan. Maybe not topped, but she would have featured in it at least once. Last week however, something happened. I was linked to a video advertising a dating site. It featured the young newly single Miss Lohan, completely taking the piss out of herself, or at least the herself that is portrayed in tabloid papers and gossip magazines. It was funny, and she was funny, and she seemed quite chilled out. I immediately didn't want to hit her anymore. In celebration of my new found tolerance for celebrity-kind, I have decided to list 5 famous people that I want to punch square in the mouth.
Jade Goody
Not now she's dead freak. But before, remember when she wasn't a Saint or Princess Diana 2.0? When she was just that fat annoying Essex slapper who got naked on Big Brother and then got a decent PR? Does nobody remember that 6 months ago everybody hated her? Anybody?
Myleene Klass
That Pantene advert just makes me want to stride across that studio, grab her thick, healthy looking hair and use it to repeatedly slam her head into the piano. I really don't know what it is, Myleene Klass never really annoyed me that much, but the way she turns around and says "And Pantene," in that squeaky voice just grates me.
Katie Holmes
Jesus. Wasn't everybody on Dawson's Creek apart from Pacey and the slutty one a complete Douche Bag? Who even understood that show when they were in the target demographic? I bet if you watched it back now you would just think they were pretentious kids trying to look intelligent. Joey was the worst, and she never even put out until right at the end. What a bitch.
Piers Morgan
He is possibly the most annoying man on the planet. He is the definition of smug. If Simon Cowell and David Cameron had a sordid affair and didn't use protection, 9 months later this would be the result. If George Bush was still in office, Piers Morgan would be a very strong counter argument to all those Americans who are anti-abortion.
Keira Knightly
Is she even a person? She is like an ironing board with a face drawn on. She looks more like Skeletor does than Skeletor. Is anyone aware that she can't even act? She plays a posh English girl in every film. Have you seen an interview with her? Keira Knightly is a posh English girl. That isn't acting, it's called being yourself.
Well that was productive wasn't it? You can watch the Lindsay Lohan video here. Peace.
Posts
Have to agree about Ms Knightly. Had to endure watching that 'King Arthur' woad-fest on TV at Easter, with KK showing up as a peasant who'd been holed up in chains for 2 years and emerged fully mascara-d complete with Roedean accent. Class.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest plenty of people hated Diana just before she died. In fact the day she died, there was an early edition of one of the tabloid papers that ran a story headlined something like "when will diana learn to keep her mouth shut"... and they had to put out a new edition with her death on the front cover, and that still inside. Sweet!
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious.
ReplyDeleteHi - a friend of mine sent me a link and said you were looking an illustrator in Brighton. I am free if you need some work doing. Cheers Oliver.
ReplyDelete